(Legal notice: Heavy use of sarcasm ahead. It may be best to wear or hat or something.)MUSIC SALES AT LOWEST SINCE RECORDS BEGANhttp://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/music/article2045335.eceMeanwhile, in other news:ELTON BUYS INTO EXCLUSIVE SUNSET TOWERhttp://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/elton%20buys%20into%20exclusive%20sunset%20tower_1026829SIR ELTON BUYS RUSSIAN .("Pawn" - ed). PAINTINGShttp://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/mndwebpages/sir%20elton%20buys%20russian%20.porn.%20paintingsMADONNA...