Good News!

There are two (count 'em) previews of the new High Water Marks album on their MySpace page.

Bad News!

Their new album ('Polar', on the brilliantly named Happy Happy Birthday To Me Records label) doesn't seem to actually be coming out any time soon. And if that weren't a kick in the swingers enough, when BrokenFM tried to post a comment on their MySpaceBlog, we had to sign up especially to do so. That's something we've been putting off for ages, because we really don't care in the slightest about having a MySpace account. The worst part is, not only is the internet now MOCKING US MERCILESSLY for having no friends, some bloke called Tom is laughing at us for having no friends. It's too much for a fragile blog such as BrokenFM to handle.

Similar to what we said about that mp3 below, but inserting the following facts into the correct places.

First update for an age, we know. Sadly, the decision to build ourselves a gigantic media rack out of chicken wire, reinforced cardboard and Cyan-Taque (the non-copyright infringing local discount supermarket equivalent of Blu-Tac) was a catastrophic one, and as a consequence we've spent the last ten weeks digging our way out of the pile of Pet Shop Boys reissues, bootleg Depeche Mode tribute albums and Carter USM promos we'd amassed over the last 20 years. Still, we've now recovered and can begin to offer the music opinions that almost dozens of readers have come to expect.

Of course, the massive flaw in simply writing about music on the internets is along the lines of "why should we listen to you? Granted, you've been empirically correct about every single one of your end of year Best Of 2006 lists, but without listening to the tunes you're championing, how do we know we'll like what you're talking about?" Well, we're a highly principled (i.e. scared of being killed by ninja lawyers) blog, and don't want to be a party to the 21st Century home taping that is giving away MP3s. That said, we do like the idea of more than 3 people bothering to read this blog, and so we present a happy medium.


Yes, that's right. Doing what everyone else does, but pretending we're somehow justified in doing so. First up, an alternate version of Love Cliché, by Bran Van 3000.

Who?

The ones who did Drinkin' in LA, a pretty big hit in 1999, after being a smaller hit in 1998. It became a bigger hit after being used in a not-very-good cider advert that was pretty much an ad-friendly remake of the Smack My Bitch Up video. That was taken from their critically well received album Glee, which, despite containing at least six slices of SOLID POP GOLD, wasn't plundered for any more singles after Drinkin'... became a top three smash. Although the BBC did use some of the track Gimme Sheldon in a trailer for some golf.

So this is from that album?

Nope. After Glee, the band sat around until 2001, by which point they released the follow-up Discosis. Not quite up to the standards of their debut, it was still enjoyable enough, with the highs (Astounded, Dare I Say, Rock Star, Love Cliche) more than making up for the lows.

So, this is from that?

No. After first single from the album, Astounded, featuring the late Curtis Mayfield, received a decent amount of radio airplay, the decision was made to put out the wonderfully bouncy pop song Love Cliché as a follow up. In the same vein as Len's Steal My Sunshine, it would have been the perfect compliment to any summer. Unfortunately, the band's US record company Grand Royal went out of business before the release of the single, despite promotional copies being sent out containing the song itself, and an alternate guitartastic version of it.

And this is that?

Yes. Given it doesn't seem to crop up on eBay very often, and there's no other way you can legally get hold of the track, we feel morally justified in offering the following.

One of the fundamental rules of The Internet goes something like this; if Bill Hicks said it, it is therefore gospel, and Unquestionably The Right Thing To Think. One of the things people like to link this to most often is his "you do a commercial, you're off the artistic roll-call forever" statement from Rant in E-Minor. Now, despite the fact that he only brandished his statement at celebrities who already have too much money, people like to throw this in the face of anyone involved in an advert, ever.

BrokenFM would like to stop slurping from a bottle of Orange Drink™ for a moment, and introduce it's own stance on the matter; IT'S OKAY TO 'DO' AN ADVERT, AS LONG AS IT ISN'T A REALLY, REALLY SHIT ADVERT. So, Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie escape punishment for their old Alliance and Leicester adverts, as they were quite good. Armando Iannucci gets a suspended sentence for directing at least some of the Mark Benton Nationwide adverts. Mitchell and Webb serve a couple of months remand for "I'm a Mac" "I'm a PC", but are subsequently allowed a return to society.

But, and it pains us to say so, The Pixies might not be so lucky. When watching a VHS recording of the enjoyable John Simms drama Never Never from space year 2000, we stumbled over a prime example of a Smug Advertising Spunkwipe, advertising Smirnoff. The soundtrack? Tame, by the Pixies. Proof? Here:



Well, clearly it doesn't diminish the quality of their recordings, and this is hardly a revelation as we remember the advert going out at the time, but it still hurts. Especially as time had made us forget exactly how annoying that advert is. You can just picture an Advertising Suit sitting just off camera, ticking off all of the key demographics the advert is hoping to appeal to, probably whilst being lightly fellated.

The only thing that is getting us through the whole experience are the probabilities that:

(a) The Pixies themselves had no idea their music was being used in this way,

and

(b) The Stupid Smug Megatwat who 'stars' in the advert ended up auditioning for the role of monkey-faced-Lee-Evans-type-bloke in Torchwood, and failed miserably.

We can but hope.

The thing is, Velouria just works as a pop video. It's clearly rubbish, and yet, it's utterly great. But what does it look when run at 'proper' speed? As ever, YouTube has the answer: